I'm sitting here in bed right now drinking my beer, which has become my night time ritual. Ava gets a bath, she nurses, falls asleep and then I crack open my beer :) She probably won't wake up again until around 6 am. Every once in a while, she'll wake up around 4ish for a diaper change and to nurse, but then she falls right back asleep again. This morning she woke up at 6 to nurse, and then fell back asleep again until about 8! Woody and I were stoked! I feel really blessed to have such a good sleeper.
So, here I am at 3 months postpartum. How do I feel? Amazing! I have never been so happy before in my life. How can I wake up in the morning in a bad mood when I have the most beautiful baby girl in the world, staring into my eyes? Recently Ava really has become quite a bit more present. She just seems so aware and wise. She smiles at me whenever I talk to her and stares deeply into my eyes. I feel like she's really starting to "see" me and love me. It's the most beautiful feeling in the world. I feel so content, like I am in the perfect place and was just meant to be a mama.
Physically, I FEEL like I did before I got pregnant but, I LOOK way different. The weight is gradually coming off, but I am still about 10-12 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. The number on the scale is not really important to me though. I don't care how much I weigh, I just want to get my strength and muscle tone back. I am not in a huge hurry though. Slow and steady wins the race. I have been working out randomly and sporadically, and switching it up every time. I have been alternating between ballet barre workouts like Physique 57, HIIT workouts like those of Zuzka Light's, toning workouts from Tone It Up!, yoga, walking and other various exercises. Sometimes I just hold Ava and dance around the living room or bust out a few squats while she's in my arms! Every little bit counts. I know I would probably get back in shape faster if I worked out more regularly and more intensely and cleaned up my diet a little bit, but that's not what I'm about right now. I'm into taking things slow and being in the moment, swimming in the ocean of time that exists after you have a baby. Sometimes I just lounge in my La-Z-Boy with Ava sleeping on my chest almost all day long! I am enjoying every single precious moment of each sweet day and am in no rush for anything to happen. Just allowing things to flow and fall as they may.
So, without further ado...here is what my body is looking like 3 months after pushing a baby out!
Guess what? My hips are wider, my butt is bigger, I have no muscle tone, I'm soft and flabby and have cellulite...but you know what? I'm beautiful. (And so are YOU, for that matter.) I am completely accepting of my body right where it's at. I think it's pretty amazing and impressive that my body can go from
THIS
To THIS
To THIS
All in a matter of months.
Pretty freaking rad. Bodies are amazing.
And I know that my body will continue to be amazing no matter what it looks like! It is my temple and the home of my soul. I will treat it kindly and lovingly, while honoring it's process and journey. I will continue to exercise and eat cookies healthfully and not allow myself to be judgmental or negative. I must admit that at times I do find myself feeling down about my body and wishing that it was something else, but I just have to remind myself to smile and tell myself I'm awesome :) It helps that Woody tells me I'm awesome and sexy all the time too. I'm sure if Ava could talk, she would tell me that I kick ass too!
So, there we have it. 3 months postpartum and kicking ass!
<3
